267: The Girl That I Call Home

The title of this one is a song by Tears for Fears, one of my family's favorite bands. They put out an EP / Live album in 2024 called Songs For A Nervous Planet that I adore.

It came up today because we (Sabina, El, and I) were playing No Man's Sky, and I heavily associate this game and this album. There was a period of a few months last school year where my wind-down activity was listening to this album and playing No Man's Sky from my bed. I don't remember much from that period fondly, but the consistent wind-down gaming and show-watching (that's when I originally watched Our Beloved Summer and Bridgerton, two favorites) was such a nice part of my routine.

That's also the time slot that I got really really good at Art of Rally, turns out if you play a video game for almost an hour every single night you get really good at it, and it also helped me get really calm at it. There are some couple hundred tracks, and I would only set an acceptable record (top 1000) on one or two a night, but across a long time, I got so into the rhythm of it, it was so nice.

I've effectively replaced that time with the blog, and the blog is nice, but I miss it sometimes. I love the blog; I love writing it, I love knowing that people read it (hi everyone!!), and I know it's made me a better and more reflective and honest person, but I do sometimes feel trapped by it; there are days that I don't want to write it. I do, because consistency is such an important skill to have, and I need to prove to myself that I can do it, but sometimes I don't wanna, and that feels bad.

It's 1:30 as I write this one, and I'm going to keep it short, because I am tired.

I'm on call right now, which is effectively house arrest tomorrow, because we have tomorrow off for Farm Worker's day (Cesar Chavez was a terrible person, so it's not his holiday anymore), my normal monday-night shift becomes 24 hours, and I'm not allowed to be further than 5 minutes from Santa Lucia during that whole time, so I'm stuck here.

I do, however, have the best friends in the entire world, so it was agreed that we were going to have our get-together at mine 😄.