351: End of the Beginning

I like to think of my life in chapters and sections, it helps me quantize the continuous minutiae of life, and it helps with forming and recalling memories, I think. If I've been somewhere, it helps to pull up the era of the last time I was there. For example, the last time I was at the Art Yard before this past week was two years ago, and I was a very different person then, at least in outlook and opinion of myself.

This is a much larger topic, but it has been fascinating to see people that I haven't seen in a while, because they all have positive opinions of me based on previous interactions, but those interactions took place at a time when I didn't have a positive opinion of me.

I think most of what that disconnect boils down to is that I didn't use to have a positive opinion of myself, and that's mostly changed, but the underlying framework of who I am and how I go about my life hasn't, for the most part.

I do definitely think I've become a better person in recent years; I'm much better at admitting when I'm wrong and asking for help, and I've gotten better at deferring to people with more expertise than myself. I was a serious little shit when I was younger, and I have definitely gotten better, but I think a bit part of that revelation is that I wasn't actually that bad, at least one or two years ago.